you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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