Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
