I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
