I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
