so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize