At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
