Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem