What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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