Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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