You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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