I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
