I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
