she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
