nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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