I hate your face
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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