Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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