okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you will always have a special place in my vag
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
