In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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