Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize