Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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