Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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