just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
