Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
