well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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