her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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