so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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