you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
