Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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