She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
