OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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