It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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