Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
