i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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