Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize