Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
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He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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