STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
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I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
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Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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