I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
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If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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