these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
