Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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