I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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