Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
