he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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