I bet he comes in French.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
