So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Houston, we have a squirter
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
