His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
