if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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