i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
