Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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