Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
