Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
