return my video game
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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