I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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