She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
