Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
