I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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