So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize