I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
