I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
