In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
