Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
