i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
