it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
