i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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