hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
