I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
