Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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