the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
