My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
