i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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