are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
