Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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