So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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